Courtship Rituals

Today we hired a new taxi driver for our Amman tour, one recommended by a former Fulbrighter. An English speaking taxi driver is like gold to us since we've discovered transportation in this huge city is our biggest challenge. We were pleased to find that his English is excellent. After a few hours of pleasant conversation he mentioned his wife. Since Terry was along, and he brought up the subject, she could ask a few questions. It would be highly improper for me to inquire about his wife under any circumstances, even to learn if he has one.

Our driver was very willing to answer Terry's questions and soon we had a description of Jordanian courtship rituals. Like most other things we have found here there is the traditional and the modern. First, the modern. It's much like anywhere else so that's all I'll say about it.

Our driver is traditional so he told his Mother he would like to marry. He gave her his wish list for a wife and his Mother set out on a broad search for someone suitable. She asked friends, friends of friends, and relatives if they knew any good candidates. She then went to meet roughly 25 women for interviews. Since there were only women present she could see them uncovered and could report back to our driver such things as curly vs. straight hair and other physical attributes. Once she found the best match in her eyes a chaperoned meeting between her son and the young woman was arranged. They hit it off so our driver asked her parents first if he could propose. They said yes so he proposed. She gave it some thought and said yes. Then a small engagement party was held. At that time a legal marriage contract was entered. Following that they were allowed to see each other along lines we know in the West. However, being conservative Moslims they were allowed no more than kisses on the cheek during this time. At any time either could call it off. If called off, the dissolution would stipulate that she remained a virgin during the contract so that she would not be forever damaged and could find another husband. After nine months they had a larger wedding ceremony. He is 34 and she is 22. She covers her head (but not her face) and wears a full length long sleeved dress with arms covered for modesty's sake. They have been married two years and are hoping for children soon.