Courtship Rituals

Today we hired a new taxi driver for our Amman tour, one recommended by a former Fulbrighter. An English speaking taxi driver is like gold to us since we've discovered transportation in this huge city is our biggest challenge. We were pleased to find that his English is excellent. After a few hours of pleasant conversation he mentioned his wife. Since Terry was along, and he brought up the subject, she could ask a few questions. It would be highly improper for me to inquire about his wife under any circumstances, even to learn if he has one.

Our driver was very willing to answer Terry's questions and soon we had a description of Jordanian courtship rituals. Like most other things we have found here there is the traditional and the modern. First, the modern. It's much like anywhere else so that's all I'll say about it.

Our driver is traditional so he told his Mother he would like to marry. He gave her his wish list for a wife and his Mother set out on a broad search for someone suitable. She asked friends, friends of friends, and relatives if they knew any good candidates. She then went to meet roughly 25 women for interviews. Since there were only women present she could see them uncovered and could report back to our driver such things as curly vs. straight hair and other physical attributes. Once she found the best match in her eyes a chaperoned meeting between her son and the young woman was arranged. They hit it off so our driver asked her parents first if he could propose. They said yes so he proposed. She gave it some thought and said yes. Then a small engagement party was held. At that time a legal marriage contract was entered. Following that they were allowed to see each other along lines we know in the West. However, being conservative Moslims they were allowed no more than kisses on the cheek during this time. At any time either could call it off. If called off, the dissolution would stipulate that she remained a virgin during the contract so that she would not be forever damaged and could find another husband. After nine months they had a larger wedding ceremony. He is 34 and she is 22. She covers her head (but not her face) and wears a full length long sleeved dress with arms covered for modesty's sake. They have been married two years and are hoping for children soon.

The Citadel

Today we decided to tour the city. This took us out of our West Amman comfort zone (though we had a driver so we weren't too adventurous). First stop was The Citadel and the Pillars of Hercules atop a Jabal or hill(Amman is built on a series of hills just like Rome). The Roman portion was commissioned by Emperor Marcus Aurelius in a city then known as Philadelphia. I urge readers to google this site as I have not yet mastered uploading photos on blogspot. It was very dramatic with antiquities dating back to 1950 B.C. The Roman columns forming the Pillars of Hercules are visible for miles around the Old City. There are ruins of a Byzantine church there dating from the 600s A.D. A small museum of antiquities is also there. Next stop was the Roman Amphitheater which is remarkably well preserved. We saw it in then moved on to Habibah, the most famous kenefeh shop in Amman. Terry previously described this dessert which is highly unusual and delicious. It proved the axiom "life is short, eat dessert first" because then we headed to.... Wild Jordan is a cafe perched precariously on a hillside with stunning views of Amman and the Citadel. It is modern (unusual for this part of town) and affiliated with a nature conservancy. It has a gift shop of high end Jordanian crafts and another great thing, a highly efficient air conditioner which by this point we direly needed. Of note was a plaque saying Wild Jordan is a gift from the people of the United States, which generated table talk about the pros and cons of foreign aid. Our lunch was excellent and a needed break. Following Wild Jordan we toured by car several neighborhoods, the most notable of which was that of the Royal Palace. It is not visible from the road but some of the grounds were. The many large villas neighboring the Royal Palace were spectacular.

Eye of the Hurricane

This week we were briefed at the Fulbright House about what to expect in Jordan. One of the speakers was the Regional Security Officer (RSO) from the U.S. Embassy. He summed up Jordan succinctly as the "eye of the hurricane." A glance at a map will show you why. The Syrian civil war has sent over 700,000 refugees fleeing into Jordan (over 83,000 in a tent city on the border that has few jobs but most essentials of a city as it has become in only two years, complete with ATMs) . Iraq remains in turmoil. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict seems never ending. Saudi Arabia is in conflict with Yemen. Daesh (the Jordanian term of contempt for ISIS) continues to run amok.

The stability of Jordan is of extreme importance to the West and the region. The United States has upped it's yearly support to $1.3 billion. The U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees has a huge presence here. Many non governmental organizations (NGOs) have large operations here providing refugees everything from food to blankets to legal support to yoga lessons. This results in a surprising number of Westerners who have come here to help and have stayed on, many for years.

Amman is the center of it all. It's population has swelled enormously in just the past two years and more than half the country's population lives here. Most Syrian refugees are now city dwellers who have either bypassed the border camps altogether or came here from them. The city is an incredible amalgam of nationalities. Previous waves of refugees actually form the majority of the population. Palestinians make up between 60% and 70% and they are well integrated into society. Even Queen Rania is Palestinian.

What is a Fulbright?

I realized you may not be familiar with Fulbrights. Senator Fulbright's exchange program, signed into law by President Truman in 1946, is to "turn nations into people" by strengthening ties between countries through education. 

The fierce competition to win a Fulbright lasts an entire year. Similar to the Olympics, where one competes in areas like swimming or running, Fulbrighters compete in specific areas. Students with college degrees and foreign language fluency compete to teach English. Others compete to do research for doctoral degrees. The category called "Fulbright Scholar" (my wife) is for those who have a terminal degree (usually a doctorate) and they have a choice whether to teach in university, research, or both. 

The goal of the Fulbright is to strengthen cultural and educational ties with other countries and my wife, being who she is, already volunteered for several additional projects. Because of the holidays, we will tour for a few weeks until university classes begin. As we travel and familiarize ourselves with the country Terry will edit work for Jordanians who asked her for assistance with their articles and dissertations.

There are many resources available if you are interested in more details about the Fulbright.

From David: My Brush with Police

Speaking of the U.S. Embassy, it is the largest in the Middle East. The compound  of several large buildings stretches for over one half mile along the street by our apartment. The architectural style is Middle Eastern sandstone of course. It bristles with electronic equipment from every rooftop. To say the least security is tight. Think how you imagine Ft. Knox. Concertina wire on top of every perimeter fence, large signs saying "NO PHOTOS", and if you think they don't mean business there are always armored personnel carriers with machine guns in front at the ready manned by Jordanian soldiers. We haven't seen U.S. Marines yet as they are presumably inside. We pass in front every day on our way to the Taj Mall (remember PF Chang's?). 

Across the street from this imposing compound is more security in the form of a small police car which is always there. It seems tiny by comparison to the fortress across the street. Yesterday as I walked by the occupants of this car waved for me to come over.  Since I wear a silly looking sun cancer prevention hat it was obvious I'm not from around these parts. I was ready with my "please officer I'm just a poor foreigner who doesn't know any better and by the way I didn't take any photos" defense. As I approached I saw three fully armed and combat ready officers wearing bullet proof vests in this parked car in 100 degree heat. The heat alone could make anyone cranky. When I got to the car one officer extended his hand to shake mine. I asked if any of them speak English and one got out of the car saying yes. The next thing I knew they all shook my hand, welcomed me to Jordan, and gave me a cup of Turkish coffee to share. This will remain one of my fondest memories of my time here.

We haven't had much time to explore but we have quite a list of things to see. I've enjoyed writing this so you can expect more soon. One final word about safety for family and friends who might be worried. Jordan is known as the most stable country in the region. Walking at all hours is perfectly safe. There are four million people in Amman including thousands upon thousands of Westerners who are welcomed here just as warmly as we have been.

Hello From Terry

Ahalan Wasalan from Amman.

Surprisingly, Amman has a Western feel. Our apartment has central heating and air, the furniture is from IKEA, the traffic no different (in vehicle types and density) than Los Angles, and we met Jordanians whose English is superior to some of my students who were born in the USA. But differences! Sink water is not potable, the mall food court has, in addition to the delicious Jordan fast foods, chains from the USA, England, Lebanon, Syria and elsewhere. Shoppers also vary. Gradations from women in abayas (almost exactly like a burka but without the eye mesh and black instead of blue) to women in shorts and spaghetti straps. Men in jeans stroll alongside men in thawbs  (long white robes). We are unable to discern nationalities not solely because Jordanian teens dress like American teens but because Jordan is the heart of the Middle East and every imaginable clothing variation is seen.

The food is another surprise. I'm guessing the intense flavors are because the food we eat is grown locally without preservatives and thus amounts to organic. The famed pastries and dates are delicious beyond description. A particular Jordanian food, the kanafeh, is cheese encased in what seems like crushed baklava with a dense layer of crushed pistachios on top. Then it is fried in honey. Wow. David had a Greek salad with feta cheese so fresh he could spread it like butter. Again: Wow.

David did a great deal of work prior to our arrival so we found an apartment quickly and are starting to meet those he met through email and corresponded with this year. This is an understatement. David made a lot of friends! We have been BUSY!

The Fulbright orientation is wonderful. We are 2 scholars and about 25 students, some of whom will research, some will teach English. David and I have had the honor of meeting some very bright people, including a handful from prior years who remained in Jordan. For me there is some emotion involved because I am reminded of my time in the jungle in Cambodia when people who had never seen medical personnel - ever - kissed my hands from gratitude. When Jordanians learn I am here to help, here to teach, here to learn and understand, they show kindness and generosity beyond anything I earned. And I am humbled. I pray I successfully attain the Fulbright goal, to strengthen cultural ties through education, and in so doing represent our country with dignity and with grace.

Hello from David

Hello friends from surprising Amman, Jordan. Terry and I are settling into our apartment with few difficulties and it's time for my first post. As family and friends know, Terry was named a Fulbright Scholar in a nationwide competition and will teach academic writing to doctoral students in the faculty of nursing at the University of Jordan here in Amman.

As her dependent here my role is planner, fixer, dutiful husband, hanger-on, and as my dermatologist so aptly put it--eye candy; all roles I take very seriously.

So far we have found both Jordanians and expats to be enormously welcoming. The city is an interesting blend of East and West. For example, where else can you eat in PF Chang's in an unbelievably modern mall while listening to the evening call to prayer amplified on loudspeakers from local mosques while surrounded by fellow diners in every imaginable regional garb? It's still the summer season here so Saudis and other Gulf State citizens (U.A.E., Qatar, Bahrain, Oman, Kuwait) flock here on vacation to see the sights and escape the heat as the elevation of Amman is 2,500' (which means 100 degrees Fahrenheit instead of 120).

We decided to locate in Abduon, a wealthy area of West Amman home to many expats and one block from the American Embassy. Originally we thought about living near the University but it is in a far more traditional area. While planning this adventure online we came upon a young Arab-American woman from Redlands, California now living in Amman. She advised that the traditional experience was too intense even for her and steered us to Abduon; advice we took.

Early in the planning process I stumbled upon an organization for expats with chapters in 390 cities around the world called Internations. It isn't just for expats though, so there are Jordanian members. Though many of their activities seem geared toward singles it has been a wealth of information for us about Amman. Through it I have found potential tennis partners, advice about apartments as I mentioned, and a number of promising contacts. Shortly after arrival Terry and I went to an event where we met a high ranking U.S. Embassy  official with six weeks under his belt in Amman thus making him a grizzled and trusted veteran of everything local. To our delight he adopted us and two days later gave us the grand tour of our mutual neighborhood. Since we're on foot here (or in taxis which is a story for a later time) his tour gave us a real jumpstart on restaurants, supermarkets, specialty stores, etc. This guy is a force of nature. After 28 years in the U.S. Military and Foreign Service he finally landed in Amman, a posting he requested. He says it is the most advanced country in which he has been posted and his family will be here for three years.



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